My divorce has left me bitter, hurt and more importantly healing. If I could sum up how I feel in this stage of my life it would be the following:
I miss my husband. My kids miss their father. But I don’t want him in my life.
After this weekend, when I received the unexpected news that he would not be coming up to visit the kids but he hoped to visit at Christmas, my heart hurt for my kids.
The self-help articles, google searches….they don’t tell you about that.
Those are things left unsaid.
Those articles, self-help articles and blog searches neglect to tell you that you will feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I can see how people jump back into relationships before they are ready….its so incredibly lonely.
Again those things are left unsaid.
When a friend from my youth posted something like this:
Anger flared inside me and I want to respond. I want to be mean, condemning the person of their thoughtless, narrow minded post.
I want to respond with FACTS like:
Many people stereotype welfare receivers as spending the money unwisely, but data shows that for families receiving assistance, 77% of the budget is used towards basic necessities such as housing, food, and transportation (compared to 65% for families not receiving assistance). Entertainment only accounts for 4.4% of the budget.
Children are more likely to be on welfare than adults, with 38% of kids aged 5 and under living in households that receive public assistance. Almost 35% of kids aged 6 to 10 and 32% of those in the 11- to 15-year-old range are on welfare.
Oh and how much of these welfare benefits are these people superfluously spending….Some states are more generous than others when it comes to food stamps but on average, families get just over $133 per person each month. (THAT’S RIGHT….$133 per person per month)
Let me recap for you...The American worker is spending on average $133/month for mostly children and single mothers to eat, receive medical assistance or get the training they need to prosper in life.
While there are inevitably going to be some bad apples in the bunch, many of the people who get help from welfare programs do so as a short-term fix while they take steps to improve their financial well-being.
I am what my friend would consider a welfare recipient and without it my kids and I would starve. (I would love to say I am exaggerating but I am not)
BUT maybe this is something that is better left unsaid.
Because in the midst of my pain, hurt and healing….It is ok! It’s ok for my friends to post something based on their view point…even if I find it offensive and hurtful. It’s ok for google not to have all the answers. It’s ok!
In an age where everyone’s opinion is highly valued and revered. I truly appreciate that mine isn’t. I don’t like to give my opinion often and I only give out to those who are truly seeking it.
Truth is opinions and feeling are often indicators not dictators. Both are often swayed based on many different aspects and neither should be resolute.
I guess despite my hurt heart, my frustration over my ex-husband…..I am kinda glad that somethings are better left unsaid.